The Intrigue

Her drug of choice was not heroin or alcohol; she didn’t smoke crack or shoot up methamphetamine. No, her compulsive behaviors had everything to do with sex and love. “Before recovery, when I was with a man, it felt like a dream. I was never really present, it was like I was floating above any situation when we were together, feeling physically high,” she told me. “When a guy flirts with me, any guy flirts with me, I feel an actual physical high. Like I just got a hit of cocaine. In recovery, we call that ‘the intrigue.’ And before I got help, I’d feel that hit and do whatever I could, even putting myself in dangerous situations, so I could feel it again.”